Reaching Out

Roslyn Lifestyle asking for help, Best friends forever, helping, reaching out


Reaching Out

This was a reply I wrote to my dearest & longest friends who had some breakdowns in trying to rearrange a date. Lin & I offered to drive 2 hours to see our friend who was unable to take subways for our monthly meeting. She became very distraught at the thought of inconveniencing anyone.

Why am I sharing such a personal issue  in my blog?

You know me as a jewelry designer & perhaps have followed my journey into beading.   I want you to get a sense that who I am as a person is someone who brings the same love, caring & passion to all areas of my life.

Dearest BFF,

 I want to address the issue of inconvenience.

For me it is probably similar to asking people/friends to help me do craft shows. I have done that these past 2 years & dread asking for help & yet I do it. I have a few people who when they say yes & when they do help me with a show have taught me that I’m giving them an opportunity to make a difference for someone they care about. I get their authenticity because it is consistent with who they are.

Turning Perspectives Around



I look upon driving to see you, not as an inconvenience but as an adventure, traveling roads I haven’t been on for years & bringing back memories.  If my dearest friend were in a hospital bed, I would drive wherever I had to go to visit her. Fortunately, you are not in a hospital & could enjoy a few hours in a restaurant. I have always done for friends what they asked or needed of me & you are not making the request. It is a trip we are offering.

When a physical disability becomes a mental one
I can’t even begin to understand the fear that must overwhelm you as you see your independence shrinking. I know another person who occasionally expresses her fear of the future & my limited walking ability frightens me. I still have use of a car & so I am not trapped but was recently diagnosed as pre diabetic & I have to lose weight. Not an easy task.
Our passions for life are strong & yet not so our bodies. It sucks but what matters most is the ability to let those who love us show the love in whatever ways come up, because the bottom line is, we would do the same for them.
 Offering an option
Why don’t you see how you feel in the morning & if you would like lunch out with 2 dear friends call one of us. I hope you get a decent nights sleep & not worry about this. It would be wonderful to be together what with celebrating Lin’s retirement, my 74th  birthday & the years of our friendship. If not this month, we can figure it out for July.
Lots of love, take care.
PS. The plan was made for later this week. She got my message.

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I loved going to work each day for 30 years as a professional career counselor. When I retired, I explored my creativity and regard for crafts until I discovered beading. At age 68 I turned my new found passion- jewelry design, into a business. At age 72 I took on learning about social media marketing and developing my computer skills. I am sharing my journey from inception, to frustration, to elation -in the hope of inspiring others that 'it is not too late to start again'. Welcome to my re-invention!

Comments 18

  1. Roz,
    What a beautiful story you shared with us. You are such a special lady and friend. Your friend who received this letter must have been overwhelmed with joy as she read how much she means to you and how important this friendship is to you. I am one of the lucky ones too who gets the joy of being your friend. I am so lucky and so is anyone whose life you have touched.

  2. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story, Roslyn. You are truly an exceptional friend. I am sure your friend was touched by your letter. I like the way you offered an option. This gave her time to rethink. Bless you.

  3. Great story. I too suffer from chronic pain and it is very easy to get depressed and shut people out. Some days are easier for me and some days are hard. I can relate to losing independence, I haven’t worked in almost a year and I often feel like a burden to my family.


  4. Lovely post. It is clear to see how you value your friends and how you are so willing to give and receive service, neither of which is always easy.

  5. What a lovely way to show your friend that you really care. You are an amazing friend and I appreciate you sharing this with us!

  6. Roz, I can’t think of a lovelier note than the one you wrote above. I’m sure your friend accepted it with the love intended. This is how all of us should treat each other…always. Thank you for sharing…beautiful.

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  7. Beautiful message. Thank you for sharing. Even I forget to ask for help but I am always willing to drive the distance to see a friend. You are a blessing.

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  8. What a beautiful story to share with us. There is a message in here for all of us. Thank you!

  9. Reaching out in love and with a giving heart is so special. Asking for someone to help is very hard for me to do.. I guess it is a little bit of a pride thing? When someone reaches out to me and offers to help with whatever it is I need it fills my heart with gratitude. Your letter is so special because it addresses your friend’s feelings of it being difficult. You have taken the edge off. You are a wonderful friend.

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      Thank you Pat for so clearly getting the intent of my letter, “to take the edge off”. I suspect you are a very good friend to others as well.

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